Men rules

    We have always listened to the "rules" from a woman's point of view. Now look at the rules from a man's point of view.

    Please note that they are all numbered as “1″.

1. Women's breasts are for looking at, and that's why we look at them. Do not try to change this.

1. Learn to handle the toilet bowl lid. You are a big girl. If it's up, you take it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be so

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we will never take it as such.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Say what you want. And let's be clear about this.

1. Light hints don't work!

1. Strong hints don't work!

1. Obvious hints don't work!

JUST SAY IT!

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question

1. When you have a problem, come to us only if you want us to help you solve it. This is what we can do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

1. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. Go see a doctor

1. Whatever we said 6 months ago cannot be used as an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, one of which makes you sad or angry, we meant the other.

1. You can ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

1. If you already know how to do it best, do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during commercials. They are long enough anyway.

1. Christopher Columbus didn't need to ask for directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men distinguish only 16 colors, like the standard settings of Windows.

"Peach", for example, is a fruit - not a flower. "Pumpkin" is also a fruit. We have no idea what color the lawn is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. It's a law.

1. If we ask what is there and you say "nothing", we act as if there is nothing. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the headache.

1. If you ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we go somewhere, absolutely everything, whatever you wear, looks good on you. Indeed.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you're ready to talk about things like: Sex, Sports, Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes. 

    Thank you for reading this. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to sleep on the couch tonight, but you know men don't mind, it's like camping.

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