Quite a long time
ago in Japan, I fell into a terrible depression, I stopped taking care of
myself, I could sit in my pajamas all day, not wash for 2-3 days. I didn't even
brush my teeth. And then there came a moment when I didn't even feel like
living.
When she learned about my condition, my Japanese friend took me to a clinic. He said they have an interesting procedure, after which your life changes, as if you were born again. He came to pick me up and I left in my pajamas and slippers. I showed up at the clinic looking like this. In Japan, they don't pay attention to appearance at all. If you want, go naked. They don't care. Everyone is busy with their own thoughts. They are not in the habit of being interested in people on public transport or on the street. They are such free people.
We arrived, I filled out some form. I enter and look - in the middle of the room there is a coffin. The doctor asked a few questions and I was given burial clothes. I got changed, they told me to lie down to get an idea of what it feels like to be dead, and when I want to come out, just press the button and they'll open it for me.
I lay down. There was a strange smell inside, but they had sprayed it with air freshener. Soft atlas. Bright color. A pearl at the end. I lay there looking at the coffin. Funeral music could be heard inside. Faint light was seeping through the slits.
At one point I felt as if I was being taken out and loaded into a car. I started pressing the button. He fell apart in my hands. I started to get angry, to shout that I didn't pay for it. And at all, are they not nerdy? We traveled for about 10 minutes. I started to get a little out of breath. Then I heard the command: "We are taking down." And I felt myself being lowered into the ground with a rope. And I began to hear the clods of earth smacking on the lid of the casket. And the voices began to grow muffled. I started hysterically screaming at the top of my lungs. I was swearing. A million thoughts in my head. Apparently I had run into sectarians. And now they were burying me alive. Hating foreigners. And most likely my Japanese friend was their accomplice. I thought how I wanted to kill her. They were really screwing me!
I started squealing even louder, like a pig in a slaughterhouse, kicking my feet. And the worst thing was that I started to suffocate. I was sobbing and tears were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't even wipe my face because of the tightness. I lay there as numb as a tree. I thought, "Lord, I don't want to die."
It was awfully
tight in there. Steamy. I started to feel dizzy. I felt like I was getting
cold. The earth is cold, I thought. I cried for 20 minutes. And I was already
losing consciousness.
Past images floated before my eyes. How I gave birth and held my daughter in my arms. Her first steps. Oh my god, I had completely forgotten about my daughter. Because of the depression.
I remembered that I stopped calling mom too. I thought: "Life is so wonderful, wonderful!". And I'm dying here in the coffin. And my beloved Japanese are killing me. Whom I so adored.
And suddenly the lid opened. I was still in the same room. And the funeral turned out to be just a computer simulation. I cried for another 10 minutes. I barely calmed down. And my friend was giggling from the side. They gave me a video of my "death". There were cameras in the coffin and everything was recorded.
After this procedure, I lost weight, got better. I fell in love with life and it no longer crossed my mind that I didn't want to live. And I don't have depression anymore. I don't want to be there anymore. I want here and now. That's right! And you will love life.
By Alfia
Khanmurzina
Translation:
Yosif Yorgov
obekti.bg
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