I don't know, we were talking...
August 6, Sunday
Then I died. For the first time. Now, sometimes I thank fate, (but sometimes I regret it) that I refused to travel with them. I didn't want to leave my beloved man alone. When I remember this, I die every time.
I am very grateful to the man who was by my side then. If he did not support me, I would not have been able to overcome the loss of my parents.
But there was more to happen to me. Fate had not yet said the last word. The following year he went to participate in a motorcycle competition abroad. Crashed on the same date with his Yamaha and died. On foreign territory.
Then I wanted to jump from the highest peak, or jump into the sea, get out of this world. But I didn't have the guts to do it. I asked myself - why does this keep happening to me, why me?
Then I died again, a second time. I still wear his ring. And I can't forget it. For me, he is a standard for a man. I compare all men to him. And they are always the losers.
Since then I refuse to travel by any form of transport. Because I have a fear of travel. I don't travel, I don't drive, I don't have a car.
I lived alone. And I devoted myself to cultivation. I enrolled and completed another education at another university. I then did two postgraduate qualifications at two other universities.
And now I wonder - what was all this for? As every year on this date I die again and again.
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